Screen Shots: Ranking the NHL by division
Todd Marchant tries to get to the loose puck against Stephane Robidas and Mike Ribeiro. (Photo by Glenn James/NHLI via Getty Images)

Adam Proteau
2008-08-14 14:50:38
Weâ€^TMre on the cusp of NHL pre-season predictions time, a fact Iâ€^TMm certain indicates that hockey fans around the world are stretching out and warming up their indignation muscles as you read this.

Iâ€^TMm not getting into my guesses for another few weeks. However, if the past 14 NHL seasons are any indication, itâ€^TMs safe to assume the 2008-09 Stanley Cup champion will not come out of the Northeast Division.

Indeed, since the league realigned its divisions in 1993-94, every division except the Northeast has produced at least one champion. The Central (read: the Detroit Red Wings) and Atlantic Divisions are tied for most Cup winners, with four apiece, while the Pacific, Southeast and Northwest Divisions each have two champs to their credit.

The Montreal Canadiens seem like theyâ€^TMve got the best shot to end the Northeastâ€^TMs Cup drought this season. Still, the odds are always against one contender winning over a group of contenders, particularly in a league that has as much parity as the NHL.

Is that to say the Northeast has been a collection of mere pantywaists and lily-livers all these years? Not at all: Two of the past five Presidentsâ€^TM Trophy winners (Ottawa in â€^TM02-03 and Buffalo in â€^~06-07) have been Northeast teams â€" and those same two teams have been Cup finalists in the past decade.

But for whatever reason (Iâ€^TMm looking at you, Foot of Brett Hull â€" which, by the way, is my greatest idea ever for the best unused name for a rock band), no Northeast team has had the right combination of great will and good fortune to lead them to hockeyâ€^TMs top accolade.

The focus on divisions brings up an interesting exercise â€" namely, ranking them. With that in mind, Screen Shots is pleased to present one schlepâ€^TMs rankings and explanations of the best and worst divisions (yes, of course I mean on paper) in the league today.

1. Pacific. Letâ€^TMs see, weâ€^TMre talking about a division that can boast a one-year removed Cup winner in Anaheim, one of last seasonâ€^TMs Western Conference finalists in the Dallas Stars and a San Jose Sharks team that will once again cause a majority of hockey writers to go all 12-year-old-girl-at-a-Jonas-Brothers-concert on their readerships.

Oh, and behind those three are the slowly-but-surely cresting Phoenix Coyotes and the long-lost Los Angeles Kings, who are well on their way to being found thanks to a roster that includes blossoming stars such as Anze Kopitar, Dustin Brown and Jack Johnson. Nobodyâ€^TMs honestly going to try and argue this collection of teams isnâ€^TMt the clear-cut class of the league, are they? If so, can I pity them in advance?

2. Atlantic. Another no-brainer here. For starters, the state of Pennsylvania alone has two of the leagueâ€^TMs top 10 teams. As well, thereâ€^TMs the Devils, a team whose year-in-year-out success is attestable to Lou Lamoriello â€" and Iâ€^TMve finally figured out the GMâ€^TMs secret: Heâ€^TMs actually the last surviving, uncredited Crystal Skull from the recent Indiana Jones installment. As long as â€oeLouâ€^TMs The Boss” is playing in New Jersey, ainâ€^TMt no way you should be counting them out.

I still havenâ€^TMt referenced the New York Rangers, who have made some major changes this summer and appear to be a team thatâ€^TMs either going to win pretty or lose ugly. Pulling up the rear are the Islanders, who, though still searching for an identity, are making slow strides toward contention. Theyâ€^TMll likely exceed expectations to a slight degree again this season â€" and thatâ€^TMs something you definitely canâ€^TMt say about some of the other division bottom-dwellers.

3. Northwest. Hereâ€^TMs where it gets a wee bit tricky. On the one hand, when I look at the Central, it has at least one virtually unanimous pick as a Cup favorite (Iâ€^TMll let you guess which team it is). Itâ€^TMs tough to say the same about any franchise in the Northwest.

On the other hand, I think most people would agree the Edmonton Oilersâ€^TM off-season makeover, combined with what were, at best, relatively lateral moves made by the other four teams, will result in an already tight division becoming even tighter this year. You can see scenarios in which four of the five teams here (sorry, Vancouver) could be the last playoff team standing among this group, so in terms of team-to-team competitiveness, itâ€^TMs hard not to go with the Northwest over the Central.

4. Central. I know, I know, the presence of the Red Wings alone makes the Central a division to reckon with. The burgeoning Blackhawks and never-say-die Predators also help in that regard â€" and the fact that more than half of Detroitâ€^TMs regular season losses came at the hands of teams in their division is a fact thatâ€^TMs nothing to sneeze at, either.

The Blue Jackets and Blues are playoff dark horses, but even then, both of those franchises have a handful of young talent to build around. In sum, there could be many more Cups bound for the Central Division and not just to Michigan. Just not for a couple more years.

5. Northeast. Forget that two of the worst off-season free agent signings (Michael Ryder in Boston and Jeff Finger in Toronto) speak to the sizeable desperation levels existing in this division. Forget that, aside from the astounding Canadiens, there are medium-to-mountain-sized holes in every other team in the Northeast.

On second thought, remember all that stuff. Also remember how transcendentally awful the Senators looked after last Christmas, how hot-and-cold the Bruins were all season long, the Sabresâ€^TM disappointing performance and the Maple Leafsâ€^TM all-around mediocrity. Yes, thereâ€^TMs something to believe in for each Northeastern team, but thereâ€^TMs also some faith-shaking factor for all five franchises as well.

6. Southeast. Where to begin with the Southeast? Perhaps the fact three of the worst nine teams in the league last season call this division home? Or that only one team (Washington) last season won more road games than it lost? Or that there hasnâ€^TMt been a single second-round playoff game won by three of the divisionâ€^TMs five teams in more than a decade?

Sure, the Southeast will be more competitive than it was last season, but thatâ€^TMs like saying the person selected as the newest member of Nashvilleâ€^TMs ownership group will be a better business partner than William Del Biaggio; in both instances, there wasnâ€^TMt much place to go but up.

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